i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
