I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
