Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
