At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize