A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
