Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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