Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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