If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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