Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
