She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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