Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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