i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
whose parrot is this?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
