Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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