he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
