I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize