First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dignity is for republicans.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There's always time for handjobs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
