Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize