i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
