Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.