carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Pants are for mortals