Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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