She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
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Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.