Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
