My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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