This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
