Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
