Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
