I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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