You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
