Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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