is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
