If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Do vagina's smell?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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