brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
being pregnant is like rehab
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
