I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
