absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
