Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
