just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize