You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize