can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
