I don't think brook has ever known best
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Enjoy the penises
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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