after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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