i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
