I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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