so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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