I wanna passion pit in your ass
I could make wine with my vomit
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
