why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm sobbing to NWA
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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