Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
