This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
as a side note pls kill me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
