This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
