About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
and you fell through a lawn chair
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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