You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
