I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you never un-have a 4some
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
