is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
