It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
