even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
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He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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