I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
