Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
