It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize