I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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