We're like a lot better than the average bears
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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