Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
