Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I bet he comes in French.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
