so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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