Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
