I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
